People keep telling us about their love affairs, when what we really want to know is how much money they make and how they manage on it.

Women flirt to keep their stock high, men to get somewhere.

Those who are brutally honest are seldom so with themselves.

Women gather together to wear silly hats, eat dainty food, and forget how unresponsive their husbands are. Men gather to talk sports, eat heavy food, and forget how demanding their wives are. Only where children gather is there any real chance of fun.

Neurotics are always looking for something new to overdo.

Naturally, the neurotic wants you to love him twice as much, for he's going to cut it in half anyway.

In the theater, as in life, we prefer a villain with a sense of humor to a hero without one.