If an article is attractive, or useful, or inexpensive, they'll stop making it tomorrow; if it's all three, they stopped making it yesterday.

Neurotic: someone who can go from the bottom to the top, and back again, without ever once touching the middle.

Neurotics would like to sleep all the time, and to be awakened only when there is good news.

Children lack morality, but they also lack fake morality.

Women gather together to wear silly hats, eat dainty food, and forget how unresponsive their husbands are. Men gather to talk sports, eat heavy food, and forget how demanding their wives are. Only where children gather is there any real chance of fun.

All love is probationary, a fact which frightens women and exhilarates men.

The neurotic always wishes people would let him alone - until they do.