As we are human, we can't do what we can't do; as we're neurotic, we can't do what we can.

Women who feel naked without their lipstick are well over thirty.

Things are never so bad that they can't get worse. But they're sometimes so bad they can't get better.

We often pray to be better, when in truth we only want to feel better.

If you're a gifted flirt, talking about the price of eggs will do as well as any other subject.

Women gather together to wear silly hats, eat dainty food, and forget how unresponsive their husbands are. Men gather to talk sports, eat heavy food, and forget how demanding their wives are. Only where children gather is there any real chance of fun.

Others settle for small rewards; the neurotic must always go for broke.