I almost can't even put to words how happy I am that I got married.

You're always on duty because you're in a constant state of observation. That's one of the challenges of being a comedian. I think one of the other challenges is that, whether we like it or not, it's a profession that requires failure. It doesn't just encourage failure. It requires it because it's all trial and error. You need to know what doesn't work to know what works.

I struggled with that notion early in my career. 'I know this is funny but nobody is laughing.' This thought occurred for years.

Success is fleeting. It may not have to do with you but how your work is received.

I don't smoke a lot of pot anymore. No one wants to hang around a guy who ends every sentence with, "Do you guys hate me?"

I'm walking out my door to get like a Snapple, and someone's like 'yo man, you want to buy some heroin?' 'No... got any Snapple?'

Essentially, retweets are like laughs.