Success is fleeting. It may not have to do with you but how your work is received.

I can always go back to waiting tables, but I won't be very good at it. I'll never be good at it.

Some people come up to me and say "You know, in Italy, it's pronounced Ber-beel-lia" And I say "Well, here in America, you're annoying..."

I like 'Donnie Darko;' it's a cool take on dreams and sleep.

The ability to workshop in stand-up comedy is incomparable to any art form, in my opinion.

I think the cleverness is inadvertent.

Sometimes when I do a joke and it doesn't get a lot of laughs, it kind of feels like I'm doing jazz. That's kinda cool because jazz is cool, but sometimes jazz sucks ... Maybe I'm the Kenny G of comedy.