I shouldn't say bad things about the illiterate, though..I should write it. That way they won't find out.
Mike BirbigliaIt was a hard name having growing up as a child. Some kids would call me names like "Birbiglebug" and "Birbibliography" and "Faggot". Some were more clever than others.
Mike BirbigliaWhen I was a kid I would write songs, little plays, and poetry in school. If you're an adult and you're a poet, it's all about love and pain, but if you're a kid it's, "Does anyone know a word that rhymes with shark?"
Mike BirbigliaI went to a funeral recently, and they handed out Kleenex before the funeral. Which I thought was cocky.
Mike BirbigliaI thought, Hey, maybe these people shouldn't be making up holidays to drink more. Maybe if they drank less they might be able to title their newspaper articles more specifically. For example, I would title this last article "Drunk Driver Hits Drunk Walker Drunkety-Drunk I'm So Drunk."
Mike Birbiglia