I've been involved with Shrek for eleven years, so you'd better like Shrek if you're going to be involved with it for eleven years. I do, I like it a great deal, so I enjoy it.

I've been frozen for 30 years. I've got to see if my bits and pieces are still working.

I once thought I had mono for an entire year. It turned out I was just really bored.

Here's the plan. We get the warhead and we hold the world ransom for... ONE MILLION DOLLARS!

I do miss Saturday Night Live, that's for sure. There's nothing like it. I just hosted, and I felt I'd only been away for a week.

I like smart jokes, I like dumb jokes, and I like dumb jokes done smartly.

The Holy Roman Empire was neither holy nor Roman nor an empire. Discuss.