There will always be people for whom hate is easier when it’s not backed up by anything but fear.

What happened?” she breathed, staring at me. “I got hit in the face with a pie,” I said. Mags stopped, blinking. “You got...hit in the face with a pie,” she repeated. “I...what? I’m sorry, but I’ve been in charge of this Library for a long time. I’ve seen a lot of really ridiculous things. I lived in Wales. And there is no way being hit with a pie should have turned you human.” “It was a really evil pie,” I said.

Life as the chosen religious figure for a colony of cryptid mice can be a lot of things, but it's definitely never boring.

Children's games are stronger than you remember once you've grown up and left them behind. They're always fair, and never kind.

Nothing is impossible to kill. It's just that sometimes after you kill something you have to keep shooting it until it stops moving

Why is it you assholes always feel the need to tell the media your evil plans before you kill us?” asked Becks. “Is it a union requirement or something?

The Argentine tango isn't here to play nicely with the other children. The Argentine tango is here to seduce your women, spill things on your rug, and sneak out your bedroom window in the middle of the night.