Our story opens where countless stories have ended in the last twenty-six years: with an idiot -- in this case, my brother, Shaun -- deciding it would be a good idea to go out and poke a zombie with a stick to see what happens.

Any man who doesn't believe in carrying weapons on a first date is not a man worth knowing.

Pronouns are only useful when you combine them with other words. I have a few I can give you, if you're at a loss.

I'd say it was nice knowing you, but as you've effectively ruined my life, it almost certainly hasn't been.

Don't start. My mood stays better if you don't start.

It is what it is. Isn't that how these things always go? They are what they are. We just get to cope.

He'll die first, we both know it, but I don't know... I really don't know how long I'll stay alive without him. That's the part Shaun doesn't know. I don't intend to be an only child for long.