Given a choice between life and death, choose life. Given a choice between right and wrong, choose what's right. And given a choice between a terrible truth and a beautiful lie, choose the truth every time.

There is nothing truer in this world than the love of a good dog.

Dramatic exits are the last refuge of the infantile personality

Time never runs backward when I need it to. Not for me, and not for anyone else.

Some people say I have issues. I say those people need to expand their horizons because I don't have issues, I have the Library of Congress

This is Shaun Mason activating security protocol Campbell. The bridge is out, the trees are coming, and I’m pretty sure my hand is evil. Now gimme some sugar, baby.

You can't win. Logic has no power over her when her territory has been invaded by heathens.