There's no such thing as a normal life. Some lives are just more interesting than others, and we shouldn't judge people for being boring.

That's the beauty of the future. We get to change it.

Repetition is sometimes the best way to deal with the Luideag: just keep saying the same thing over and over until she gets fed up and gives you what you want. All preschoolers have an instinctive grasp of this concept, but most don’t practice it on immortal water demons. That’s probably why there are so few disembowelments in your average preschool.

Didn't we talk about this?" "HAIL!" "That isn't an answer." I planted my hands on my hips. "Was there a reason for shoving the gummy bears off the counter? Did they tell you they were suicidal? On second thought," I raised a hand, palm out, "don't answer that. If the candy is talking, I don't want to know.

Nothing is impossible to kill. It's just that sometimes after you kill something you have to keep shooting it until it stops moving

Any man who doesn't believe in carrying weapons on a first date is not a man worth knowing.

I'll challenge senators and kings for the right to know the truth, but far be it from me to challenge a woman in her own kitchen.