If I had a dollar for every time I said that, I'd be making money in a very weird way.
Mitch HedbergMy manager said, "Don't use liquor as a crutch!" I can't use liquor as a crutch, because a crutch helps me walk.
Mitch HedbergI play the guitar. I taught myself how to play the guitar, which was a bad decision... because I didn't know how to play it, so I was a shitty teacher. I would never have went to me.
Mitch Hedberg