If you're watching a parade, don't follow it. It never changes. If the parade is boring, run in the opposite direction. You will fast-forward the parade.

I have no problem not listening to the Temptations.

I played golf... I did not get a hole in one, but I did hit a guy. That's way more satisfying.

I haven't slept for ten days, because that would be too long.

I saw on HBO they were advertising a boxing match "It's a fight to the finish". That's a good place to end.

I wrote a script, and I gave it to a guy who reads scripts, and he read it, and he liked it, but he said he thinks I ought to re-write it. I said, "Fuck that - I'll just make a copy!"

I saw a commercial for an above-ground pool, it was 30 seconds long. Because that's the maximum amount of time you can picture yourself having fun in an above-ground pool. If it was 31 seconds, the actor would say "The water is only up to here? What do I do now? Throw the ball back to Jimmy? Or put some goggles on and look at his feet?"