I still don't know how to cook and that's just unacceptable.

I love the challenge of taking something that may be boring to a lot of people but is unarguably important. It's irresistible. I always take projects that I'm paid to learns stuff. I study much harder now than I did when I was in college.

When it comes to war, we focus more on the mainstream coverage of the event, rather than the event itself. People dying is never funny. Protest puppets are always funny.

Irony is the disparity between what you expect will happen, and what does happen. So raining on your wedding day isn't ironic, it's just crappy. It would have been ironic if she had lived in a place like Seattle, and traveled to the desert of Mexico for a wedding and it ended up raining there, but not in Seattle. Alanis always gets the last laugh though. We all sit here, saying her song isn't ironic, but in fact, that's pretty ironic that she wrote a song called Ironic that wasn't really ironic. Those Canadians are pretty crafty.

It's interesting, because I tend to trust a man with big ears.

Politicians who wear little tennis socks with the balls at the back should not be taken seriously.

I have a Keurig coffee maker, which is really kind of a luxury. It was given to me by an ex. I realized when I'm feeling sentimental, I'll gently, tenderly press the button. Then when I remember he dumped me, I punch it.