Whenever you hear a politician carry on about what a mess the schools are, be aware that you are looking at the culprit.

Pigs get fat and hogs get slaughtered.

Think of something to make the ridiculous look ridiculous.

The first rule of holes: When you're in one stop digging.

In city rooms and in the bars where newspeople drink, you can find out what's going on. You can't find it in the papers.

Satire is traditionally the weapon of the powerless against the powerful. I only aim at the powerful. When satire is aimed at the powerless, it is not only cruel -- it's vulgar.

Texas is a fine place for men and dogs, but hell on women and horses.