I believe all Southern liberals come from the same starting point--race. Once you figure out they are lying to you about race, you start to question everything.

Michael Jackson was a poor black boy who grew up to be a rich white woman

Naturally, when it comes to voting, we in Texas are accustomed to discerning that fine hair’s-breadth worth of difference that makes one hopeless dipstick slightly less awful than the other. But it does raise the question: Why bother?

Satire is traditionally the weapon of the powerless against the powerful.

It's like, duh. Just when you thought there wasn't a dime's worth of difference between the two parties, the Republicans go and prove you're wrong.

If you ever get to the place where injustice doesn't bother you, you're dead.

Imagine wasting all that perfectly good anger on paranoid fantasies. Not since Emily Litella got upset about "Soviet jewelry" has there been such a waste of anger. You will notice a certain theme to these Emily Litella Moments. Behind them all is a touching faith that someone, somewhere is actually in charge of what's happening - a proposition I beg leave to doubt.