Mrs. Campbell once attempted to smuggle her pet Pekingese through customs by tucking him inside the upper part of her cape. "Everything was going splendidly," she later remarked, "until my bosom barked."

You can do anything in London, as long as you don't do it on the street.

Do you know why the Lord withheld the sense of humor from women? So that we may love you instead of laugh at you.

I believe I was impatient with unintelligent people from the moment I was born: a tragedy - for I am myself three-parts a fool.

If you can read this you can read me.

Wedlock is the deep, deep peace of the double bed after the hurly-burly of the chaise lounge.

I do not really care what people do as long as they do not do it in the street and frighten the horses.