Lillian Gish may be a charming person, but she is not Ophelia. She comes on stage as if she had been sent for to sew rings on the new curtains.

I once undertook on behalf of a friend to smuggle a small dog through the customs. I was of ample proportions, and managed to conceal the little dog upon my person. All went well until my bosom barked.

If you can read this you can read me.

Youth is harmed by having wisdom thrust upon it. Youth must gather wisdom slowly, in laughter and tears.

You can do anything in London, as long as you don't do it on the street.

Mrs. Campbell once attempted to smuggle her pet Pekingese through customs by tucking him inside the upper part of her cape. "Everything was going splendidly," she later remarked, "until my bosom barked."

[Moses] probably said to himself, 'Must stop or I shall be getting silly.' That is why there are only ten commandments.