Do you know why the Lord withheld the sense of humor from women? So that we may love you instead of laugh at you.

I believe I was impatient with unintelligent people from the moment I was born: a tragedy - for I am myself three-parts a fool.

Youth is harmed by having wisdom thrust upon it. Youth must gather wisdom slowly, in laughter and tears.

I have laid my cheek upon the earth and felt it my mother's bosom.

Do you know why the Lord withheld the sense of humor from women? So that we may love you instead of laugh at you.

[Moses] probably said to himself, 'Must stop or I shall be getting silly.' That is why there are only ten commandments.

Mrs. Campbell once attempted to smuggle her pet Pekingese through customs by tucking him inside the upper part of her cape. "Everything was going splendidly," she later remarked, "until my bosom barked."