If I were your wife I would put poison in your coffee.

When she woke briefly during her last illness and found all her family around her bedside: "Am I dying or is this my birthday?"

Years ago, I thought old age would be dreadful, because I should not be able to do things I would want to do. Now I find there is nothing I want to do after all

One reason I don't drink is that I want to know when I am having a good time.

It isn't the common man at all who is important: it's the uncommon man.

What would we say if men changed the length of their trousers every year?

Real education should educate us out of self into something far finer; into a selflessness which links us with all humanity.