I didn't want to wake up. I was having a much better time asleep. And that's really sad. It was almost like a reverse nightmare, like when you wake up from a nightmare you're so relieved. I woke up into a nightmare.

I can't eat and I can't sleep. I'm not doing well in terms of being a functional human, you know?

Of course I wasn't abused. If I were; things would be so simple. I'd have a reason to for being in a shrinks office. I'd have a justification and something to work on. The world wasn't going to give me something that tidy.

It’s a huge thing, this Shift, just as big as I imagined. My brain doesn’t want to think anymore; all of a sudden it wants to do.

I feel dead, wasted, awful, broken and useless. It's not the kind of feeling you forget.

Things to do today: 1) Breathe in. 2) Breathe out.

That's what gets me through the day. Knowing that I could do it. That I'm strong enough to do it and I can get it done.