I don't use computers... I'm someone who needs to see the page right away in my hand.

I was constantly being dragged out of movies for laughing too loud.

Writing is an escape from a world that crowds me. I like being alone in a room. It's almost a form of meditation- an investigation of my own life.

Everyone thinks they can write a play; you just write down what happened to you. But the art of it is drawing from all the moments of your life.

You must realize that honorary degrees are given generally to people whose SAT scores were too low to get them into schools the regular way. As a matter of fact, it was my SAT scores that led me into my present vocation in life, comedy.

How long do you want to wait until you start enjoying life? When you're sixty-five you get social security.

The first book was my first attempt at writing full-length prose.