I was constantly being dragged out of movies for laughing too loud.

I don’t like writing for comedians. I like writing for actors. The best comedians are the best actors.

Sports is the only entertainment where, no matter how many times you go back, you never know the ending.

Baptists are only funny underwater.

Writers feel like a middleman, standing with pen in hand over the page. A force greater than me stands above telling me what to write. That may sound romantic, but that's how it feels.

Standing on a ledge again. Everyone laughs at dancing monkey with the typewriter. Not for long, though.

Don't listen to those who say, you taking too big a chance. Michelangelo would have painted the Sistine floor, and it would surely be rubbed out by today.