I don't even feel as if I'm the center of my own world, so how am I supposed to feel as though I'm the center of anyone else's?

...self-consciousness is a man's worst enemy.

We're here for such a short amount of time. Why do we spend any of it building sandcastles?

The natural state of the football fan is bitter disappointment, no matter what the score.

The chief attraction of the opposite sex for all of us, old and young, men and women: we need someone to save us from the sympathetic smiles in the Sunday-night cinema queue, someone who can stop us from falling down into the pit where the permanently single live with their mums and dads.

I've committed to nothing...and that's just suicide...by tiny, tiny increments.

Love and charity share the same root word (caritas). How is that possible, when everything in our recent history suggest they cannot coexist, that they are antiethical, that if you put the two of them together in a sack they would bite and scratch and scream, until one of them is torn apart?