Being a man of the theater and a hedonist, I find the idea of building coffins very romantic.

You know, it's hard to beat bacon at anytime of day. But I also am a big fan of corned beef hash.

Figure out what you love to do, then figure out how to get paid to do it.

It's hard to swallow when people say, "Oh my God, you're a master of something." I say, "No, I'm actually a student of that. I could turn you on to websites for 25 masters, and you'll quickly see that I am their disciple."

Before people figured out I was funny, I got cast quite a bit as either a rapist or serial killer or the guy who catches those people.

I always had a lot of confidence in my work and the unique flavor I like to bring to my characters, but you know I'm not a huge dreamer.

We're cognizant, curious beings, capable of philosophical thought, nuclear physics, repeating Nerf weapons, global consciousness, Glade air fresheners, and sentient automobiles. But we're assholes first.