I have a Kenwood charcoal grill. In our house, if anybody is cooking, it's me. I love making burgers. I love making pork tenderloin. Lamb chops I do on the grill a lot. But you just can't beat brats.

Actually, I'm not super-kickass at a lot of things.

I learned as a young man that I don't write jokes, but that I can deliver more mundane material and get a laugh. I call myself a humorist.

The world is split into two halves: the bacon, and the bacon eaters.

If you like comedy, go home and curl up with Leviticus. The writers of The Onion are handed Leviticus on their first day.

I just always had a penchant for performing for people.I'm a jackass clown.

Jack London is a very generous description of my small hiking, bicycling, and canoeing habit. I myself feel like a weak urbanite a lot of the time, because lots of my friends are incredible outdoorsmen and women.