When it comes to marijuana, I think it's ridiculous to live in a country that espouses freedom, liberty and equality, yet won't follow through on a philosophy that says: "If it's not hurting anybody or their property, you can do any goddamn thing you want."

Jobs that require a suit upset me. They displease me much, as our world is rife with such superficial conformity.

Shut your damn mouth.

I learned as a young man that I don't write jokes, but that I can deliver more mundane material and get a laugh. I call myself a humorist.

Don't use barbiturates before going on stage. And be honest.

Follow your gut, make a choice, and throw yourself into it. If you make a mistake, then you have merely afforded yourself a valuable lesson.

I've had to learn and discipline myself that I'm much happier and much less depressed if I give myself a project. It's just that simple.