Marijuana is quite possibly the finest of intoxicants. It has been scientifically proven, for decades, to be much less harmful to the body than alcohol when used on a regular basis.

If you want to be happy in life, consider yourself a student. Every day of your life, think: how can I improve?

If properly dried and trimmed, New York-style pizza could be used to make a box for Chicago-style pizza.

Before people figured out I was funny, I got cast quite a bit as either a rapist or serial killer or the guy who catches those people.

The key, I would say to any fledgling humorist starting out, is to make sure that sloppiness is part of your recipe. That way they come to expect fumbling and clumsiness and they say, "Oh, it must be a charming part of his personality."

If you don't look at yourself and evaluate it, you instead see how the world's reacting to it.

I have a very healthy growth of both head and facial hair. People always want to attribute further superhuman powers to me. It's funny the way the audience really seems to want me, Nick the actor, to exhibit the same machismo as Ron Swanson.