A perfect martini should be made by filling a glass with gin then waving it in the general direction of Italy.

I write at high speed because boredom is bad for my health.

We have no reliable guarantee that the afterlife will be any less exasperating than this one, have we?

I don't think pornography is harmful, but it is terribly, terribly boring.

I never cared who scored the goal, or which side won the silver cup. I never learned to bat or bowl; but I heard the curtain going up.

But why, oh why, do the wrong people travel, when the right people stay at home?

I'm not a heavy drinker, I can sometimes go for hours without touching a drop.