A perfect martini should be made by filling a glass with gin then waving it in the general direction of Italy.

Criticism and Bolshevism have one thing in common. They both seek to pull down that which they could never build.

Never mind, dear, we're all made the same, though some more than others.

I'm over-educated in the things I shouldn't have known at all.

My philosophy is as simple as ever - smoking, drinking, moderate sexual intercourse on a diminishing scale, reading and writing (not arithmetic). I have a selfish absorption in the well-being and achievement of Noel Coward.

I write at high speed because boredom is bad for my health.

Of course, the age-old tradition that a star must appear even if he or she is practically dying is an excellent one, but it can be carried too far. I one played a performance of The Knight of the Burning Pestle with a temperature of 103 and gave sixteen members of the company mumps, thereby closing the play and throwing everybody out of work. There may be a moral lurking somewhere in this, but I cannot for the life of me discover what it is.