Of course, the age-old tradition that a star must appear even if he or she is practically dying is an excellent one, but it can be carried too far. I one played a performance of The Knight of the Burning Pestle with a temperature of 103 and gave sixteen members of the company mumps, thereby closing the play and throwing everybody out of work. There may be a moral lurking somewhere in this, but I cannot for the life of me discover what it is.

Acting is not a state of being ... but a state of appearing to be.

But why, oh why, do the wrong people travel, when the right people stay at home?

Bed is the perfect climate.

Mona Lisa looks as if she has just been sick, or is about to be.

Grab it while you can — grab every scrap of happiness while you can

Star quality: I don't know what it is, but I've got it.