Noel Coward Quotes

I see her as one great stampede of lips directed at the nearest derriere.

You ask my advice about acting? Speak clearly, don't bump into the furniture and if you must have motivation, think of your pay packet on Friday.

Wouldn't it be dreadful to live in a country where they didn't have tea?

That strange feeling we had in the war. Have you found anything in your lives since to equal it in strength? A sort of splendid carelessness it was, holding us together.

My importance to the world is relatively small. On the other hand, my importance to myself is tremendous. I am all I have to work with, to play with, to suffer and to enjoy. It is not the eyes of others that I am wary of, but of my own. I do not intend to let myself down more than I can possibly help, and I find that the fewer illusions I have about myself or the world around me, the better company I am for myself.

I'll go and see anything so long as it amuses me, or moves me. If it doesn't do either I want to go home.

Star quality: I don't know what it is, but I've got it.

I love criticism just so long as it's unqualified praise.

Consider the public. Never fear it nor despise it. Coax it, charm it, interest it, stimulate it, shock it now and then if you must, make it laugh, make it cry, but above all never, never, never bore the living hell out of it.

Having to read footnotes resembles having to go downstairs to answer the door while in the midst of making love.

People are wrong when they say opera is not what it used to be. It is what it used to be. That is what's wrong with it.

Christmas is at our throats again.

You will know you're old when you cease to be amazed.

A perfect martini should be made by filling a glass with gin then waving it in the general direction of Italy.

Madame Bovary is the sexiest book imaginable. The woman's virtually a nyphomaniac but you won't find a vulgar word in the entire thing.

Bed is the perfect climate.

For gin, in cruel sober truth, supplies the fuel for flaming youth.

Wit is like caviar - it should be served in small portions and not spread about like marmalade.

Mad dogs and Englishmen go out in the mid-day sun; The Japanese don't care to, the Chinese wouldn't dare to; Hindus and Argentines sleep firmly from twelve to one, But Englishmen detest a siesta.

I also avoid green vegetables. They're grossly overrated.

Dear 338171 (May I call you 338?)

If he (Peter O'Toole) had been any prettier it would have been Florence of Arabia.

You kissed me because you were awfully nice and I was awfully nice and we both liked kissing very much. It was inevitable.

Exercise is the most awful illusion. The secret is a lot of aspirin and marrons glaces.

Familiarity breeds contempt, but without a little familiarity it's impossible to breed anything.

The Stately Homes of England, How beautiful they stand, To prove the Upper Classes, Have still the Upper Hand.

Any part of the piggy Is quite all right with me Ham from Westphalia, ham from Parma Ham as lean as the Dalai Lama Ham from Virginia, ham from York, Trotters Sausages, hot roast pork. Crackling crisp for my teeth to grind on Bacon with or without the rind on Though humanitarian I'm not a vegetarian. I'm neither crank nor prude nor prig And though it may sound infra dig Any part of the darling pig Is perfectly fine with me.

I want a horse and plough, Chickens too, Just one cow, With a wistful moo.

There's always something fishy about the French.

Let's drink to the spirit of gallantry and courage that made a strange Heaven out of unbelievable Hell, and let's drink to the hope that one day this country of ours, which we love so much, will find dignity and greatness and peace again.

She stopped the show - but then the show wasn't traveling very fast.

Goodnight, my darlings, I'll see you tomorrow.

Running is the classical road to self-consciousn ess, self-awareness and self-reliance. Independence is the outstanding characteristic of a runner. He learns the harsh reality of his physical and spiritual limitations when he runs. He learns that personal commitment, sacrifice and determination are his only means to betterment. Runners get promoted only through self-conquest.

Though the fact that they have to be rebuilt And frequently mortgaged to the hilt Is inclined to take the gilt Off the gingerbread, And certainly damps the fun Of the eldest son.

Never mind, dear, we're all made the same, though some more than others.

My body has certainly wandered a good deal, but I have an uneasy suspicion that my mind has not wandered enough.

It is my considered opinion that the human race (soi disant) is cruel, idiotic, sentimental, predatory, ungrateful, ugly, conceited and egocentric to the last ditch and that the occasional discovery of an isolated exception is as deliciously surprising as finding a sudden brazil nut in what you know to be five pounds of vanilla creams. These glorious moments, although not making life actually worth living, perhaps, at least make it pleasanter.

But why, oh why, do the wrong people travel, when the right people stay at home?

I've sometimes thought of marrying - and then I've thought again.

Mad dogs and Englishmen go out in the mid-day sun.

The pleasures that once were heaven look silly at sixty-seven.

Television is for appearing on, not looking at.

Your motivation is your pay packet on Friday. Now get on with it.

To take a gloomy view of life is not part of my philosophy; to laugh at the idiocies of my fellow creatures is. However, at this particular moment I cannot find so much to laugh at as I would like.

Acting is not a state of being ... but a state of appearing to be.

Someday I suspect, when Jesus has definitely got me for a sunbeam, my works may be adequately assessed.

Of course, the age-old tradition that a star must appear even if he or she is practically dying is an excellent one, but it can be carried too far. I one played a performance of The Knight of the Burning Pestle with a temperature of 103 and gave sixteen members of the company mumps, thereby closing the play and throwing everybody out of work. There may be a moral lurking somewhere in this, but I cannot for the life of me discover what it is.

It's no good pacing up and down. It won't make the plane arrive any faster. Just sit down and accept that we're delayed. You're just making a fool of yourself.