I can't sing, but I know how to, which is quite different.

I want a horse and plough, Chickens too, Just one cow, With a wistful moo.

I also avoid green vegetables. They're grossly overrated.

Fifty-four years of love and tenderness and crossness and devotion and unswerving loyalty. Without her I could have achieved a quarter of what I have achieved, not only in terms of success and career, but in terms of personal happiness.

Having to read footnotes resembles having to go downstairs to answer the door while in the midst of making love.

My philosophy is as simple as ever - smoking, drinking, moderate sexual intercourse on a diminishing scale, reading and writing (not arithmetic). I have a selfish absorption in the well-being and achievement of Noel Coward.

It's like this, dear boy, the one in front is blind and the kind one behind is pushing him.