There are bad times just around the corner, There are dark clouds travelling through the sky, And it's no good whining, About a silver lining, For we know from experience they won't roll by...

I write at high speed because boredom is bad for my health.

She had much in common with Hitler, only no mustache.

In the first act, you get the audience's attention - once you have it, they will repay you in the second. Play through the laughs if you have to. It will only make the audience believe there are so many of them that they missed a few.

To know you are among people whom you love, and who love you – that has made all the successes wonderful, much more wonderful than they'd have been anyway.

We have no reliable guarantee that the afterlife will be any less exasperating than this one, have we?

Certain women should be struck regularly, like gongs.