Vera said: 'Why do you feel you have to turn everything into a story?' So I told her why: Because if I tell the story, I control the version. Because if I tell the story, I can make you laugh, and I would rather have you laugh at me than feel sorry for me. Because if I tell the story, it doesn't hurt as much. Because if I tell the story, I can get on with it.

Sometimes I believe that some people are better at love than others, and sometimes I believe that everyone is faking it.

Some people pretend to like capers, but the truth is that any dish that tastes good with capers in it tastes even better with capers not in it.

Having been married so many times, I know that one of the few things I am an expert in is falling in love.

These days most women have jobs that last way too long. A lot of people in New York barely have time to get laid.

I actually believe in denial.

I have made a lot of mistakes falling in love, and regretted most of them, but never the potatoes that went with them.