The process of competitively selecting contractors to perform work is based on a system of rewards and penalties, all distributed randomly.

Regulations grow at the same rate as weeds.

Law Number XXXIX: Never promise to complete any project within six months of the end of the year, in either direction.

Two-thirds of the Earth's surface is covered with water. The other third is covered with auditors from headquarters.

Law Number IX: Acronyms and abbreviations should be used to the maximum extent possible to make trivial ideas profound ... Q.E.D.

Law Number XXIX: Executives who do not produce successful results hold on to their jobs only about five years. Those who produce effective results hang on about half a decade.

Law Number L: The average regulation has a life span one-fifth as long as a chimpanzee's and one-tenth as long as a human's, but four times as long as the official's who created it.