At my age, the radiation will probably do me good.

You know I've got a chum, a smashing mate, he's got a dog with no legs, and he calls it a cigarette. It's true, yeah, because at nighttime he has to take it out for a drag.

I owe everything to the army.

As you get older three things happen. The first is your memory goes, and I can't remember the other two.

My only phobia is untidiness. My hair has to be neatly kept; my shoes are always clean. Everything has to be in a straight line, in its place.

Such is life and life is such and after all it isn't much. First a cradle. Then a hearse. It might have been better, but it could have been worse.

I was born in London, and went to school in Scotland - I used to be dead tired when I got home at night.