I owe everything to the army.

My comedy is for children from three to 93. You do need a slightly childish sense of humour and if you haven't got that, it's very sad.

My only phobia is untidiness. My hair has to be neatly kept; my shoes are always clean. Everything has to be in a straight line, in its place.

All my boyhood, all I ever wanted was to be loved.

I can never tell a joke, I've always found it easier to just fall over.

I used to first go on to entertain an audience. But now I go, and this is really true - I go on to have fun with a crowd of my chums.

There are people who like just ordinary comedy fun, and making mistakes - which I do easily - and then there are people who like the falling over.