You know I've got a chum, a smashing mate, he's got a dog with no legs, and he calls it a cigarette. It's true, yeah, because at nighttime he has to take it out for a drag.

As you get older three things happen. The first is your memory goes, and I can't remember the other two.

You know I've got a chum, a smashing mate, he's got a dog with no legs, and he calls it a cigarette. It's true, yeah, because at nighttime he has to take it out for a drag.

All my boyhood, all I ever wanted was to be loved.

I like consistency. If you've had a childhood like mine, you want some things you can rely on to stay the same.

My comedy is for children from three to 93. You do need a slightly childish sense of humour and if you haven't got that, it's very sad.

I've got one idea I want to do for a film and you know I just enjoy myself doing bits and pieces.