You only live once, so enjoy the ride.

Some guys like to undermine a girl's self-esteem with little verbal jabs. Eventually it all adds up. One bee sting doesn't hurt a horse, but enough bee stings can kill a horse.

Good things you have to make happen. Bad things happen all by themselves.

Dogs will give you unconditional love until the day they die. Cats will make you pay for every mistake you've ever made since the day you were born.

Happy Endings are an illusion. Real life is filled with brief moments of fleeting happiness, but ultimately every life is a tragedy that ends in death and grief.

Getting life insurance is like making a bet you can't win. If you live, you don't get the money. If you die, you don't get to enjoy the money.

A cow's heaven is a flower's idea of hell.