You get so weak from eating pears that you fall down, and then they come and take you away on a stretcher.

I'm really a pacifist.

I don't have a drink problem. But if that was the case and doctors told me I had to stop, I'd like to think that I would be brave enough to drink myself into the grave.

I've been drinking. Now I'm going to drink some more.

Life shouldn't be about sitting around staring at frosted glass. Life should be lived and that's all there is to it.

I have two ambitions in life: one is to drink every pub dry, the other is to sleep with every woman on earth.

I have made many serious statements - I just can't remember any of them. I guess they mustn't have been very important.