I'm not one of those people who walks away and says, "That's a lot better than I thought it was going to be." I said, "No, this is as bad as I thought it was going to be, I didn't like it. I didn't want to talk to anybody."

I know a lot of people have a hard time talking dirty - they dont know what to say, how to start, or when to end it. Also, at first they will think they sound ridiculous. And they might. But let me just say that talking dirty is so important in sex. And its pretty easy. To wit: Establish from the very beginning that you like this. And trust me, you want to do it early on. Because if you wait too long to introduce the concept, your Special Lady Friend will be a little thrown and might not take you seriously.

With the story of your life, you dont get to write the whole book, just your character.

I was in a military family, so by the time I was 13 I'd lived in six different places.

I'm really sarcastic. Not Morgan Webb sarcastic. She's dry, 100%. I'm different from her.

The word 'geek' today does not mean what it used to mean. A geek isn't the skinny kid with a pocket protector and acne. There can be computer geeks, video game geeks, car geeks, military geeks, and sports geeks. Being a geek just means that you're passionate about something.

How many of you have had a crush on a teacher? I mean, remember that Physics professor? Law One is so steamy, I'm getting worked up just thinking about it: Every object in a state of uniform motion tends to remain in that state of motion unless an external force is applied to it. Mee-yow.