I'd make my promises now if I wasn't so busy arranging to keep them.

Every actor in his heart believes everything bad that's printed about him.

Ask not what you can do for your country. Ask what's for lunch.

Popularity should be no scale for the election of politicians. If it would depend on popularity, Donald Duck and The Muppets would take seats in senate.

I'm not a walking extra in a Chekhov play; I'm no Slavic gloom or Irish gloom. I mark only the happy hours, like the sundial, because otherwise I would have gone nuts.

Personally, I don't like a girlfriend to have a husband. If she'll fool her husband, I figure she'll fool me.

I don't think any word can explain a man's life.