There are only two kinds of people who are really fascinating - people who know absolutely everything, and people who know absolutely nothing.

It is very vulgar to talk about one's own business. Only people like stockbrokers do that, and then only at dinner parties.

When people talk to us about others they are usually dull. When they talk to us about themselves they are nearly always interesting.

The burden of this world is too great for one man to bear, and the world’s sorrow too heavy for one heart to suffer.

Death and vulgarity are the only two facts in the nineteenth century that one cannot explain away.

Now produce your explanation and pray make it improbable.

Well, I can't eat muffins in an agitated manner. The butter would probably get on my cuffs.