The sure way of knowing nothing about life is to try to make oneself useful.

I never play cricket. It requires one to assume such indecent postures.

I can resist anything but the temptation to make a clever witticism.

Men always want to be a woman's first love - women like to be a man's last romance.

If you don't get everything you want, think of the things you don't get that you don't want.

Seriousness is the only refuge of the shallow.

And what sort of lives do these people, who pose as being moral, lead themselves? My dear fellow, you forget that we are in the native land of the hypocrite.