As I lounged in the Park, or strolled down Piccadilly, I used to look at everyone who passed me, and wonder, with mad curiosity, what sort of lives they led. some of them fascinated me. Others filled me with terror.

Oh, don't cough, Ernest. When one is dictating one should speak fluently and not cough. Besides, I don't know how to spell a cough.

Twenty years of romance makes a woman look like a ruin; but twenty years of marriage makes her something like a public building.

Married men are horribly tedious when they are good husbands, and abominably conceited when they are not.

Self-denial is the shining sore on the leprous body of Christianity.

Alas, I am dying beyond my means.

The last person who ever crossed me is dead under my bed!!!