They say military have the so-called 'secret intelligence' - this amount of intelligence must be very secret, since I've never seen any intelligent military person, nor I have seen any sense in the bloody stupid wars.

I discovered rock'n'roll. You could go round Europe in a van with your best mates, drinking beer, smoking dope and screwing chicks.

Killing a pig for a good old fry-up is one thing. But there's no excuse for being cruel, even if you're a bored teenage kid.

Suicide is the only way out.

Don't ask me, I don't know

Mind you, it’s all bullshit with wine, isn’t it? It’s just f**king vinegar with a fizz, no matter what the tasters say.

I once had a dream about getting a marriage, house in the country, and at the end of the day we'd retire, but I'm never going to retire.