We're going off the rails on a crazy train.

It’s sad, y’know, what money does to people.

They teach you how to handle life in England, but they don’t teach you a thing about death. There’s no book telling you what to do when your mum or dad dies.

What is the world coming to?

They said I would never write this book. Well, f**k ’em – ’cos here it is. All I have to do now is remember something... Bollocks. I can’t remember anything.

They say military have the so-called 'secret intelligence' - this amount of intelligence must be very secret, since I've never seen any intelligent military person, nor I have seen any sense in the bloody stupid wars.

Just take our name off the list. . . . The nomination is meaningless, because it's not voted on by the fans . . . .