Killing a pig for a good old fry-up is one thing. But there's no excuse for being cruel, even if you're a bored teenage kid.

I've had so much good luck happen to me that I can't handle bad luck.

They say military have the so-called 'secret intelligence' - this amount of intelligence must be very secret, since I've never seen any intelligent military person, nor I have seen any sense in the bloody stupid wars.

I tried heroin once and I didn't like it. It frightened me.

The funny thing is, I was never much of a fighter. Better a live coward than a dead hero, that was my motto.

I got rabies shots for biting the head off a bat but that's OK - the bat had to get Ozzy shots.

You can choose, don't confuse, win or lose, it's up to you.