The most unbelievable thing about my behaviour is that I was convinced it was entirely f**king normal.

The power of people, when they focus on something positive, never fails to amaze me.

My son Jack once said to me, 'Dad, do you think people are laughing with you or at you?' And I said, 'I don't care as long as they're laughing.'

I love my wife. We've had a few slings and arrows across the room, but I'm not prepared to give in, you know? People say she saved my life, but at the same time, I saved her life, as well, I think. She's a great mother, she's a great wife, she's a great worker, she's a great manager. She's just great.

I don’t know whose brilliant idea that was, but it wasn’t mine, that’s for sure.

I don't know if I'm a medium for some outside source. Whatever it is, frankly, I hope it's not what I think … Satan.

Weather in Afghanistan, 2000 degrees and cloudy. What the f-ck am I doing? I'm stuck on the weather channel. AHHH!