I've just discovered the secret of golf. You can't play a really hot game unless you're so miserable that you don't worry over your shots. Take the case of a chip shot, for instance. If you're really wretched, you don't care where the ball is going and so you don't raise your head to see. Grief automatically prevents pressing and over-swinging. Look at the top-notchers. Have you ever seen a happy pro?
P. G. WodehouseLady Glossip: Mr. Wooster, how would you support a wife? Bertie Wooster: Well, I suppose it depends on who's wife it was, a little gentle pressure beneath the elbow while crossing a busy street usually fits the bill.
P. G. WodehouseHe looked haggard and careworn, like a Borgia who has suddenly remembered that he has forgotten to shove cyanide in the consommรฉ, and the dinner-gong due any moment.
P. G. WodehouseA girl who bonnets a policeman with an ashcan full of bottles is obviously good wife-and-mother timber.
P. G. WodehouseMen capable of governing empires fail to control a small white ball, which presents no difficulties whetever to others with one ounce more brain than a cuckoo clock. I wish to goodness I knew the man who invented this infernal game. I'd strangle him. But I suppose he's been dead for ages. Still, I could go and jump on his grave.
P. G. Wodehouse